Here Be Dragons

Two Stories About Water

One: Plumber

Mum called me on Saturday to tell me that there was no water at their house as a pipe had burst. Sucky. I was curious as to how the pipe burst (I thought that kind of thing happened in the very cold, not the clement temperature of that day) but she didn't know how it had happened only that it had. There had been a leak over the hall, and Dad had turned the water off out on the road.

They were not going to pay exobirtant plumber weekend charges, and would simply spend most of Sunday elsewhere and get it fixed on Monday.

Monday came, as did the plumber who fixed the problem in about 10 mins once he found the leak. He told Dad that a mouse or a rat had gnawed through the pipe, probably after eating posion (which makes them really thirsty), and that was that.

Curious as 1) we haven't had any problems with rats. 2) as such we don't lay poison and 3) Damn RATS. (/mices) So that was fixed and all good. Given that we have a dog and a cat, if I was a rat I would be in the roof as well. Although we have a feeling that if there was poison it was presumably a rat from one of the neighbours.

Two: Bumber

So I was walking to my lecture, and I was just passing the UBS (on route from Main Cafe) when I felt a slight wetness at mid thigh level on the back of my leg... Oh yes, my water bottle which I had been so pleased to find fit easily into my cavernous pockets had betrayed my trust. Leaky leaky, leak leaky.

I removed the offending bottle from my pocket to asses the damage, hmm about one quarter empty, could have been worse. Check pocket, hmmm looks ok, there is some water droplets on the outside of my pants, but not too many, and they appear to be beading on the surface.

Phew.

Nope, there they go, being absorbed into the fabric. Oh, and look now there is even more running all the way down my leg. Joy, it must have been sitting in a secret reservoir waiting to spring forth like err a spring?

Right. Time to move without thinking (and of course at all times remembering to walk without rythem, so as not to attract the worm). I moved to the wall of UBS and sat down. Hiding my now increasingly soppy legs. I figured I would just have to wait there until my leg dried enough to not look like I had wet myself, or until something else occured. Luckily I had a book in my other pocket and so could read at my leasure.

Three of my students wandered past commenting that I should be at the lecture, luckily for me I didn't care, and of course could also comment that they should be there more, and off they went. After about 30 mins I checked my pants. Still wet, and not showing any indication to decrease wetness levels to within standard parameters. Alright, this is starting to suck.

It was not about 1:25, and so the flow of students past the UBS had dropped from the highs of 12:50-1:10, and would probably remain low till around the top of the hour.

To the POLS dept with me. Via a circuitous route that took me behind the IT dept, past the hidden Music dept, through psychology and finally to the heater in my office, upon which to dry my pants.

So that could have been much worse. Unless of course there are photos. Especially bad if students had seen this, for it did look very bad. Not as bad as the time with Hamish and his boxer shorts at work, but close.

As it is I live to fight another day.

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Waz has not recieved enough abuse for returning to a state that makes it impossible for me to link to him. No domain makes Waz a bastard. I mean posting about once a month is bad enough, but to let that little carved out space on the 'net slide? Terrible. What will the neighbours think?

Michelle linked to the JP. I visited and found skanky bar chicks on pool tables. Now I know we used to go to the JP a lot, but I ain't never seen no girl (skank or no) on their pool table.

Hang on, I don't think I've been there this year (sucks to me) perhaps it is a new addition to the ambience?

Posted by luther at May 30, 2003 02:51 PM