Here Be Dragons

Madwoman Loose With My Number

People are dumb, when they are thickies.
People look stupid, when they are.

So Sunday comes around and I'm chilling out etc etc waiting for soccer, and then to Quix's for Pizza action. Beep Beep goes my phone. Ah, a text message, bring it on.

Unfortunately the message was not from anyone I knew. So I ignored it. This didn't stop them. It went down as follows:

hi when shcool holiday all wel in our house when u coming down me not work any more just doing house up had people stay i phone bil 600 thn 400 tolls pis me r of at 15:49

shayna have new kitten his name is toot toot beep beep to fat to carry have to name her after your dad fatty ha ha have u bin good i went to rotorua had fun thr at 15:54

brenda have u changed jobs again yet waiting 4 a corana report then in october of to timaru to take ashes head stone octo next year bin a rol a cos ta i bin i hos at 16:00

were r u ? at 17:57

were da bloody how r u me bin waiting 4 u to tx back me gunna count to 2o then me gunna let da tyres down on your car at 20:35

At this stage I decided to call whoever the hell it was and suggest that they were mental, and more importantly that I was not Brenda, if that was who she thought I was, and she should stop waiting for me to show up in any case.

"Hello?" (apparently this was more of a question than previously suspected)
"Hi, I'm not Brenda, I don't know who you are, I would say you have the wrong number"
"You're not Brenda and [some guys name ending in -aza]?"
"No."
"Well this is the number they gave me..."
"Yup."
"It must be wrong"
"Yes."
"OK, bye"
"Bye."

The end.

I must say I am particularly weirded out over the third message

...waiting 4 a corana report then in october of to timaru to take ashes head stone octo next year bin a rol a cos ta i bin i hos

Which I understand to mean:

Waiting for the [she says "a", but hopefully there is only one] coroner's report [or possibly a report on someone’s cornea or even corona?], then in October off to Timaru to take ashes and head stone [or possibly Ashes' head stone? (however either way lends supports to the reading of "coroner"], (October next year that is) Been a roller coaster, I have been in hospital.

.....OK then. Other readings of that message also indicate that October next year will be tough for her, and that she somehow knows this already, "octo next year bin a rol a cos ta" and this foresight might explain why "i bin i hos." A lot of people that can "see" into the future have troubled periods in their lives...

I now open the floor (well, my comments) to other readings, glimmerings or interpretations.

Posted by luther at June 5, 2003 04:25 PM