Hic Sunt Dracones

Ha. Someone just offered to buy my twitter username, “Not for commercial purposes.”

So it’s around half one in the morning and I’m pissing about on the tubes. For the last hour or so I’ve been watching as /b/ makes a very late charge on the “first to a million twitter followers” race currently being engaged in by Ashton Kutcher and CNN. Their entrant? BasementDad a spoof (well, no, more of a… a something) of Josef Fritzl. Yeah… smooth.

[Links in the below section could be NSFW depending on both the whim of the /b/ and the policies of your work. And your mom.]

You can watch some “statistics” (They seem to be doing a “followers per minute” update without averaging over more than about a minute, so it spikes a lot and isn’t at all accurate.) over on http://85.14.217.35/tr/ well, you can at the moment. When I first saw it I think they has around 8k followers, they’re just about to pass 150k. If you want to help, the initial instructions are still available at WEBS.COM (heh), but the pro people use hyphens. “If you have any trouble, then you’re too much a newfag for this noble pursuit.” That’s telling us.

As I wander off to bed: OH NOES ASSTON KUTCHER WILL WINN

It might be over by the time I get up. Aren’t you excited?

Hmm, Britney Spears is third? (That’d be a work safe link) What the.

I doubt anyone was waiting for me to pronounce on the issue, but Transporter Three is largely weak sauce. It certainly has some pro fight scenes going on. Or rather scene. It has some others, but they’re either not as awesome, or are inexplicably and strangely seemingly sped up. This is marginally less worse than the SHIT that is MTV editing which involves 100 micro cuts between someone throwing a punch and said punch connecting (Bourne #2 I’m looking in YOUR motherlicking direction), but it is still shit. Especially when the scene (from the trailer) that doesn’t suck, involving a circle of guys, our man Frank and a garage is so cool. It also has a most silly bmx mad riding through a warehouse district as he chases his car – because of the wedlock device ‘natch.

The first film is pretty good for about the first 60% or so. Then the woman “rewards” Frank and it all turns to suck. Culminating in some Cessna to lorry antics that are so abysmal that the fact that he’d earlier deflected a heat seeking missile with an oven tray seems totally reasonable. (Note: This only happened in the trailer I think, pretty sure it was cut from the theatrical release. Like my pants.)

What else?

Oh yes, MOON looks pretty cool. Sam Rockwell is so hot right now. That website really is bare bones no? They did manage to get the distance from Earth to the Moon wrong though, which is pretty clever. But then they fixed it. Gogo trailer.

Well well well, Skype tells me it is Si’s birthday. And who am I to nay say Skype? Happy Birthday Si :)

PS. I just tried to remember what I can about Transporter 2, and it looks like I recall the fight in the Doctor’s surgery, with the crazy Russian (probably) chick which involved exploding gas tanks of some kind, the plot point of a kidnapped son, some nasty virus thingy, and Frank climbing out of a Lamborghini and onto a plane as it takes off…

Those Romans are crazy.

Anyone interested in having a play with Vark let me know, I have some invites, it seems pretty cool, and will hopefully have a better noise to suck than say… Omegle. Word.