Hic Sunt Dracones

Heq saved the front page of stufffrom being blank, so I guess that’s a bullet dodged. Good job Heq. He also posted photos of me punching out, then eating out(?) a loaf of bread. I suspect many people would have grown out of that carry on by now. But apparently not me. I did it all for the cookie.

On my elongated ride home today I came across a guy on the corner of Victoria and Burnley trying to hail a taxi in essentially the middle of the intersection. He wasn’t standing in traffic, but he was in the middle of one side of the intersection. No idiot child, the taxis will not stop for you there. Stop being dumb.

If you’re looking for, and lets be honest who isn’t, a recommendation on dental floss, I present to you the REACH “Clean Paste”, I rate it as nice, in the same way I’ve rated all previous dental floss as shit.

So, I don’t know why I was watching it, except that I’d finished watching Fanboys and couldn’t be bothered sitting through There Will Be Blood, but along came The Core and watch it I did. Yeeees. And why the hell not, with Delroy Lindo blasting holes in rocks and my man DJ Qualls rocking them Internets.

[when asked what it would take to get the ship ready within 3 months]
Dr. Ed ‘Braz’ Brazzelton: [laughing] Fifteen billion dollars… I…
General Thomas Percell: [with straight face] Will you take a check?
Dr. Josh Keyes: Why don’t you use a credit card? You get miles.

And as I watched it, I wondered where our fourth favourite 90210er was, Mister Luke Perry. Turns out, he was in Descent, a different movie, where them government folk (including WORF) are up to no good, and have caused blah, and now have to get meh to drive into the center of the Earth to do foo to save us all. Which explained a lot. Well, it explained why Luke Perry wasn’t in the film I was watching.

And I got to wondering.

I got to wondering, what’s DJ Qualls up to after Road Trip? (Well, Delta Farce, but I haven’t seen that, and The New Guy was before Road Trip, but I digress, and sound a bit like a stalker), BUT, er, sadly he is up to Road Trip! Again, with the direct to DVD… oh dear.

Meanwhile, did you know Luke Perry’s real name is “Coy Luther Perry III”?

But I also got to wondering, do we have a word for this “Couple of films with the same plot withing a very short period of time”? Is it simply that someone comes up with a good (enough) plot, gets it green lighted and enough info leaks out that someone else figures, “hey what the hell?” and picks up the ball and runs with it? Is it semi rational on the basis of some funky economic shenanigans whereby if you have one supermarket and open a second one next to it the total custom will actually increase on average across both stores? Is it nothing like this at all? Is it simply that all script writers are depressed that their (to quote Dan) “hot-teen-vampires-facing-contemporary-life-issues-in-Malibu pilot didn’t get picked up”, and have nothing better to do than ninja a plot and head for the (Hollywood) hills – or closest film studio thereof? Or er, stuff?

I’m looking at YOU:

• Volcano and Dante’s Peak
• A Bug’s Life and Antz
• Armageddon and Deep Impact
• Rob Roy and Braveheart
• and most recently, The Prestige and The Illusionist

And I’m looking at YOU Sunshine to provide me with some commentary around this, kkthxbi.

Then today after work I fired up some Apple.com/trailers and what did I see, but Repo Men, what the HELL? I thought. Didn’t we just have Repo: The Genetic Opera?! Yes, we did. I went and learned about Anthony Stewart Head, and y’all did too. So I watched the trailer, and have you watched it yet? Do so. Done so?

Good.

And so I watched the trailer, and WHAT THE?! Seriously?! The same God damn plot. OK, obviously not, but the same: replacement organs, debt, vaguely hot girl, more debt, collection, plot, plot, OH NOES, plot etc?! REALLY Hollywood? This being the Internet, someone had my back with an extended list on the IMDB forums.

Of course, this thunder signifies nothing. I’ll watch it, and I’ll like it. How could I not? Ghost Dog vs. Sky Captain. HA! browsing the cast list, and we see Ashleigh Hubbard making her big screen debut as… Hot Girlfriend… Still, I guess someone has to. And she’s going to be in Kick Ass too, so ya know, her stock must be on the way up. Wish mine was.

Dan’s here in a few days. So we’re driving to Broken Hill. Requests for photos of Dan performing immoral acts while I tear through upper Victoria will be actioned on a first in first served basis.

PS, “In a poll of hundreds of scientists about bad science fiction films, The Core was voted the worst.”

DRIBBLE OVER. For now.

This entry was posted on Monday, February 1st, 2010 at 11:27 pm and is filed under Oversized Weapons. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.