Hic Sunt Dracones

On the list of stupid things I’ve done, this is one. But sadly it is probably doesn’t even rank in the top ten. I was walking to lunch with the guys from work and stopped to use an ATM (because Australia and EFTPOS…) anywho, I whacked in my card, PIN and got to the point of selecting the amount of money to withdraw when my phone rang. I knew it would be my boss as he’d been out of the office and was planning on meeting us for lunch, so I grabbed at my phone and started walking / talking (but not chewing gum), and trying to give directions to a restaurant that I’d only been given vague directions to myself. Some few minutes later I was wondering where my $60 was. Card yes! Cash NO!

ATM (user) Failure.

Wandered back retracing my steps (illogically) and withdrew my money. At this point I wasn’t convinced I’d actually completed the transaction, I just couldn’t figure out if I was that stupid. I knew I still had my card, but had I really withdrawn the cash? Was I mental? If so, exactly how mental?

The answer appears to be “mental enough” and the “time before ATM swallows cash of idiot who didn’t take cash” appears to be too long for this sucker.

PS. Fuck you Commonwealth Bank of Australia! When I went back to the machine and got my new set of shiny $60 I, for the hell of it, asked for a transaction listing. What I was given wasn’t remotely up to date (the most recent transaction was a couple of days old) and just now, while I’m checking to make sure that yes, I did lose my $60, I see that you charged me 50c for the privilege of having a shitty inaccurate statement? Boo to you.

Scribblenauts is a game. Go read about it at your leisure. Suffice to say, you use “words” to summon “things” into the game “world” with “you”. Right? Right.

Dan used some cunning to get me into a game.

What I summoned, an ordered list to be used in the future as a psychological baseline, should one be deemed necessary by the relevant authorities:

201. Bread
202. Pan a frying pan, picked up and WIELDED
203. Polly went to a “did you mean… – chose one at random, got some kind of tree
204. Parrot at first sat on the tree, but when moved simply flew nearby the tree
205. Bridge to manage a gap so I could get up “somewhere”
206. Bridge to put on top of the first bridge which had fallen
207. Stairs
208. Steps to replace the stairs, which had fallen down and then unexpectedly and unintentionally smashed by my character, and the fry pan I mentioned I was wielding previously (NB: steps / stairs returned the same item)

The stairs, bridge and tree structure got me up the jump I couldn’t make, and I progressed to the top of the hill

209. Swing a classic one person swing from a backyard swing set. It fell from mid air, and I followed it, to no ill effect. (In my mind I’d sort of imagined one of those tyre plus rope plus tree setups. I built one later)
210. Tractor got a massive tractor which I was able to ride around on
211. Vampire… Now; in my defence, Dan (who I’d been chatting to) was allegedly doing battle with zombies, vampires, Dracula, Cthulhu and GOD, so really I was just following along. Although later I wanted to summon Peter Pan
212. Garlic for the vampire, who was proving somewhat resistant to my frying pan attack, he didn’t like it too much and after awhile turned to dust
213. Toaster er, for toasting

At this point I figured out that the reason there didn’t seem to be a point was because there wasn’t, I was stuck in free play hell. After some noodling and complaining to Dan, I figured out how to start the actual game.

I’m “between” traveling this week, and for some reason, which I can’t legitimately blame on Jet Lag I’ve been staying up past half one each morning, like right now.

I’ve been whoring up FB on these travels, and it still aggravates me. I get many of the good parts, but I don’t understand the thought processes behind so many other bits, and I really don’t like the walled garden. Not one bit. Let alone their copyright policies.

I saw a bunch of people complaining about Weatherson’s attempt to appeal his conviction. (NB: As I understand it he is only at the stage of appealing to the Court of Appeal, they might well tell him to sod off, as opposed to firing up a session to deliberate on the merits of said appeal (which is how it works for everyone.)) They declare him evil and decry the justice system. Perhaps they don’t understand how (or why) our justice system works the way it does? Perhaps they are a bunch of thickies.

This week NASA smashed into the moon, videotaping the impact, and then smashing the video camera into the moon too. That’s my kind of science. Watching bits of it on NASA TV was pretty cool – though I was surprised at some of the uncertainty and amount of human input, one section I watched had the Science people asking the Flight guy to make a change to one of the cameras, and she never sounded particularly confident, and a few times there was a need to check November versus Mike and such. I was a bit worried they should have sorted this shit out a little earlier in the piece. When you’re crashing at 10,000+ km/h well, ya’know. However, they’re rocket scientists and I’m not. Let ‘em crash how they want. (Excluding imperial/metric failures). Real Life made me laugh.

Related – This morning my boss (and presumably all the cool aggregation sites) linked me this here map type thing covering Fifty Years of Exploration, so thanks National Geographic, that thing is sweet. However, your URL looks a bit shifty, and your display is a bit unfriendly so thanks Flickr|Andrew Crowe for giving us a better for printing out and staring at version.

Because I’m a global jet setter I plan on popping home for the weekend; time for a cup of tea and some crumpets with old chums, I hope to see you there.

Except you Pete, you’re a bastard.

Then did you fly? Like a bird? In the SKY?

Yes, well…

I’m working on a way to turn “no exit row” into a strong cussing phrase. I’m also working out how to destroy the travel agent who has sold me the dumbest ticket ever. Instead of flying directly back to Melbourne non stop, I’m instead going via Singapore. I’m doing this to give my legs a break on the 14 hour flight, seemed to make sense. BUT NO. I am flying via Singapore, that much is right, but although the plane is stoping there, we don’t disembark. Oh no, I just sit on the tarmac for a bit… What the fuck is he point of that?

The point is to add two hours to my fligth. And yes, “no exit row seats available” – yeah you better believe I’ll be yelling that at the next Telstra nub I’m faced with berrating.

On the up side… Dubai.

What the hell Sky… I haven’t been here two weeks, and you’ve already tried to get me to watch Death Race three times? and Bond twice? This is why you can’t have nice things.

Play this game icycle (c/- Waxy), and per Heq’s request, go watch Role Models. Hold him responsible though… He likes to be held.

Went for a run Sunday afternoon, down to the viaduct, around to the bridge and back to the hotel. Then I walked into a glass door. In my defence I was wearing sunglasses (it was sunny!) and was sweating and a bit stuffed. The door had always been open for the week I’ve been staying here, and, and, OK. I’m a dumb arse. Didn’t walk into it at speed, and immediately burst out laughing at my incompetence – which I think greatly relieved the two staff that bore witness to my skills (of an artist).

The next day I dropped a pie on my foot. I was actually dropping it on the floor at the time, but I have this habit of trying to catch things with my foot in circumstances such as this. In the case of dropping a glass, or some types of food, it might be a good plan – and might prevent unnecessary breakages. In the case of a pie, it is perhaps less wise. Luckily for my shiny shoes the pie did not shatter.

CIA Agent: Uh, sir he drove off the roof.
Noah Vosen: What?
CIA Agent: He drove off the roof!

On Sunday another guy from work arrived for the week, he’s Indian and being the culturally sensitive guy that I am, on Monday I suggested we hit up the local Indian restaurant I’d spotted (underneath Denny’s natch) he knew it from the last time he was here and was game. So off we went. He doesn’t talk much, so I rambled on for most of the meal. Luckily he’s interested in NZ and I have some details to burn on that subject. At the end of the meal he put down his fork and said, “You know – Melbourne’s Indian restaurants are all shit. This place is significantly better than any of them.”

Dark Knight is a rad film. And Quantum of Solace is also pretty pro. Judy Dench is an excellent M.

M: When someone says that they have people everywhere, you expect it to be hyperbole. Lots of people say that. Florists use that expression. It doesn’t mean that they have people in the bloody room.

I wish I was a secret agent or at least had secret aaaaaagent monies.

I wonder what chance I have of scoring a chick by claiming, to quote Mr Bond, that “I can’t find the um… the stationary. Do you want to help me look?”

Having said that, it’d be bad news for pretty much anyone I meet as Bond’s acquaintances don’t tend to last long, and his liaisons are even more fleeting. HAHA! premature. Suspect it won’t stop Daniel Craig getting ALL the ladies.

Using me for my money, then telling me a quarter mil ain’t good enough.

A quarter mil’s always good!

It was good then, and it’s sure in hell still good now.

In Brisbane I got to watch Tropic Thunder which while looking amusing enough really hadn’t passed the “will pay money for it” test at the pic-a-tures, and wasn’t high on my list of things to do in Denver, while I was dead. However, Foxtel a go go and I have the following pronouncements to make.

1) Tom Cruise is awesome. Both in general, in allegiance to the mighty space aliens, and of course more importantly for being Les:

Les Grossman: And who here is the key grip?
Les Grossman: You? You! Hit that director in the face, really fucking hard!

He also dances. And makes phone calls.

2) “I don’t know what it’s called; I only know the sound it makes when it LIES!” wins as a quote.

The hotel here has a nice big television for me to watch things on, which is nice. However it’s stuck in non wide screen mode, and Sky keeps playing all its movies in wide screen mode. Pout?

In conclusion, I reiterate that everyone should watch Sex Drive.

Oh, just gave up on Pineapple Express, and what’s on TV2? Whores don’t get second chances. And you know that for sure.

PS. I’m a lead farmer MOTHER FUCKER.